Completely out of context: my bachelorette party

I thought about writing a D & D Love Story today but instead I shall write about my bachelorette party. I am being nostalgic.

When a friend of mine got engaged she has a bachelorette party, a wedding shower and a Stag & Doe (this is a party for both the bride and groom and is made to raise money for them to help pay for the wedding. I have also heard them referred to as a Jack & Jill and Buck & Doe)

I found all of this to be very excessive. Firstly I don't really believe in wedding showers. I think they are gift grabby and silly. Why would you have a shower for an event that you will get gifts for anyway? I understand why people have them and I don't shame them or judge them for that but personally I did not want one. So when I got engaged I told the wedding party that if they wanted to do something we would like a Stag & Doe. That way all of our friends and family could get together before the wedding and party together! It is expensive to throw a party so I also offered to help with the costs and the work of it all. My thought was that it is mine and D's choice to get married so why should everyone else go broke?

We had our Stag & Doe and it was great! We had so much fun and raised a ton of money! Everyone had a great time. My sisters did an amazing job throwing the party! A couple of pictures for fun:

My bridesmaids & I with our custom made t-shirts

The guys with their t-shirts:

My girlfriends and I trying to take a group shot but my BIL had to get in on it:

OK... Now back to the reason of this blog post. My bachelorette party. After the Stag & Doe I was overwhelmed with how much people did for us. I thought that it was way too much and I thanked everyone profusely and FORBID them to have anything else for us pre-wedding.

The wedding was coming up in November (2007) and I had to make a trip out of town in September for some final wedding shopping. When I go to visit my sisters I have to make the plans in advance because my nieces and nephew are very involved in sports and extra curriculars and they have a crazy busy schedule so I have to make sure that they have time for my visit.

I planned this visit for the end of September and D would not be joining me. Little did I know, my sisters had the bachelorette party in the works.

The day we went shopping my sister, N said that she had got called in to work at her second job and was couldn't come shopping. I was very upset and hurt because I had been looking forward to this but I get that wedding shopping is not everyone's favorite thing to do. So my sister K and I got my final shopping done.

When we returned back to her house, N was already there to meet up with us for dinner. I entered the house to see a bunch of food on the table and was surprised by my girlfriends (who all had to travel from out of town to get there) I bawled my eyes out and couldn't believe it!!!

Also joining us were a few of my sisters friends. I was shocked and excited and overwhelmed.

The plan? First we got a private lap dance lesson, then a limo came to pick us up to take us out bar hopping. I, of course, had to wear some ridiculous things and had a list of things to get done by the end of the night. It was a great night and I still smile when I think about it.

Me and my amazing sisters who orchestrated the whole thing:

The group:

Lap dance lesson (one of the more tame pictures):

We also had to get on top of the bar and have a dance off with another bachelorette party!

I likes me some victory shooters

 And a penis straw for fun :)

I decided to take the reins!

So far I have been sitting back and letting Dr. R decide what is best for me and DH as we TTC. He is clearly not a fertility specialist and while I have much respect for him and plan to keep him on as my OBGYN I knew it was time for me to move from him to an RE.

The straw that broke the camel's back? When he told me to relax for the summer and not think about TTC so much and then if I am not pregnant by September then he would start me on Clomid. This would be unmonitored and while I probably would have done it, I think that would have been the wrong choice.

So last week I called to see if he would refer me to a fertility clinic. His secretary told me I would need to make an appointment. So, again, I sat back and let someone else dictate for me.

Today, I pulled my balls out of my purse and I called back and said "Listen bitch! You tell Dr. R that I want a referral and I want it now!"
Ok, so maybe I exxagerated that a bit......

Here is what really happened. I pulled my balls out of my purse and called and said "I was just wondering if you could possibly pull my chart for Dr. R, tell him I am requesting a referral to a fertility clinic and see if he will fax it for me? It is a long drive for me to see him and I was just there a couple of weeks ago. If he still wants to see me in person I will keep my appointment in 2 weeks but this would save me some trouble. Thanks"

She said she would call me back.

So I waited. And then D called me at work to say that he went into the bathroom and the phone rang, there was a message saying that yes he would send the referral today and she just needed to know which clinic I would prefer (since they are both a hefty drive) I chose the clinic that they deal with the most since I had done a shitload of research on the weekend and even printed out the medical history forms and filled them out.

So there you have it boys and girls. This girl is moving on to see an RE!

I am excited, nervous, happy and anxious to see what the next step will be but I am happy with my decision to take the reins and move on to an RE. I am very thankful for Dr. R and all of the tests and help he has given me but his scope only goes so far.

Ok, I will admit it

After the spotting stopped I thought to myself "could that have been implantation bleeding?"

Yes, the thought was very short lived as I imagined the WTF that would be heard round the world if I was pregnant on a cycle where we only had sex once and I have no idea when I ovulated.

But I admit it, yes, the thought did cross my mind.


Here's one for ya! 2 weeks ago my dad was telling me how this guy who he has had business dealings with (this guy owns a tractor, plow, kind of deal and has done some snow removal, dig holes kind of stuff for my dad) is now dating a young girl who used to date a cousin of mine. I imagine that they have been dating since spring maybe.

Ok, that's great for them.

Well last night one of the first things my dad decides to tell me about these 2 people that I barely know is: "Hey, you know T?? Well he knocked up K!!! He is so excited, he was just beaming yesterday saying he was going to be a dad. They just found out on Friday"

I sat there for at least 30 minutes trying to fight back the tears. The welled up in my eyes a few times but I was able to choke them back.

For fuck sakes, dad, what on earth makes you think that I want to hear that news? Seriously???

That was the cherry on top to complete my day yesterday that was filled with pregnant women, babies and finding out about accidental pregnancies.

Well then, this is weird

Woke up this morning. It is CD 24. The only sign that AF is coming is my sore boobs for the last couple of days. Nothing else to hint that she is soon approaching. (no cramping, no bloating)

I went for a pee. Nothing on the paper.

I had breakfast, checked facebook, played farmville & frontierville (yes I am a big huge loser) then went for a poop. Suddenly it looks like AF is here. WTF?!?!

It's a touch more than spotting but not significant enough to say that it is light flow.

And while I welcome her so I can start a new cycle, I am confused as to why she is here so fucking early. Maybe I actually did ovulate on CD12? Or maybe she has decided that now is a good time to fuck with me. Maybe this is just spotting.

I hate her.


Confession time? even though I am pretty positive that this cycle was a bust anyway (considering we only had sex once on CD11) I am still really bummed that I am not pregnant.

Also? I have done some research and discovered that the fertility clinic that I will most likely be referred to does telephone consultations! YIPPEE!!!!! This saves us a bunch of travel time and money!!! If they do video conferencing I would be a happy happy woman! Downfall? It's about a 2 month wait time to get an appointment.

At the Desk

It has been a while since anything blgo worthy has happened at my job. But the other day I had a little something happen so I present the return of "Today at the Desk" (only it didn't happen today)


A young punk comes to my desk to register, he is here to have stitches removed from his forehead. (I am curious as to what happened there)

He looks like one of those kids who does nothing for himself, thinks all authority figures are stupid and is just a straight up jerk. He is all by himself so I assume that he is not slow or mentally challenged. He has an air about him that basically says "Fuck you, world!!" I envision him on future episodes of Maury being paternity tested.

He is 14 years old.

He comes up to register and informs me that he doesn not have his health card or hospital card. No problem, I can alsways find him in the system by name and date of birth.

What is your last name?  He tells me his first name but I don't correct him because maybe he has a first name as a last name like a lot of people (including me)

What is your first name? He mumbles something that sounds like it might start with an L so I ask him to repeat the last name, again he mumbles. At this point I want to scream "Listen you little bastard, this whole process would go a lot quicker if you pulled your head out of your ass and the marbles out of your mouth!" but instead I take the high road and ask him to spell the last name. To this, he replies. "I don't know how"

The look on my face must have been priceless.

Once I get his last name figured out (I typed in only an L with the first name) I ask his DATE OF BIRTH. He gives me the year after some serious thinking and saying 'ummm....uhhhh' It is even more of a struggle to get the month and day out of him but finally I find him in the sysem.

I wondered if I should feel sorry for him or give him the side eye. After reviewing all of the evidence, I chose SIDE EYE!

And so does Sophia Patrillo!

What day is it? Where am I?

The past few days have been a whirlwind. We have been back and forth and up and down and round and round.

Starting Sunday we headed straight to D's aunt's house. While we were there I suggested that D stay with his cousin to be with him through the grief of losing his dad. I said that I would come back to pick him up the following day after I was done work. I also suggested that he take Monday night off and I would pack him a bag and bring it to him. He decided to come home to work though.

Then tuesday we headed back to Aunt B's house (they live in a town about an hour away). That night was the wake. It was very sad and we stayed until the very end to be there with the family. D has been amazing and just been spending time with his cousins just to be there for them (especially with A-they are very very close) so that night we stayed with A until about 1am. I was exhausted and told D if he wanted to stay with him that I would go to the hotel alone and come and get him in the morning. But he chose to come back to the hotel since it would be a long day the next day with the funeral and all.

Yesterday was the funeral. The very nice service but heartbreaking funeral. After which a bunch of friends and family got together at A's brother's house. At some point in the afternoon D said that he would stay the night with A. They are heading to the cottage today for the night. So I came home last night, I have a bunch of stuff to do today and then I have to go to the cottage tonight for the night and then D & I will head back tomorrow. It is going to be very very hard leaving A tomorrow. He will head back home (which is out of province) in the next few days. He is heart broken about this and plans to come back home ASAP.

I told D that when A does decide to come home that we will fly him out and he can drive back with him. It is ridonculously expensive to fly throughout Canada but I said we would make it work because when we suggested it to A, he was so happy and thankful for the offer.

MIL and D keep thanking me for being so great throughout all of this but I really don't see what I have done. Yes, I have encouraged D to be with his cousin and I have done whatever I can to help out at Aunt B's with food and cleaning and what not but I feel like those are just natural instincts and I am not doing anything special. I wish there was more that I could do but unfortunately we now have to move on to life without Uncle Steve.

A TTC update

We are about 80% out this cycle. The reason I say 80% is because there is a miniscule chance (actually probably less that 20%) that I ovulated on CD 12. My temps and my CM suggest otherwise but since I stopped temping on CD 15, there is no way to tell! The reason I stopped temping on CD15 is that we went to the cottage and I forgot to bring my BBT and also, I was drinking so the temp would not have meant a thing. Also, with the big fight that occurred last week, DH and I had sex on CD11 only. I tried to get some action this weekend but he felt too weird about disappearing from the group to go bump uglies in the bush. I MARRIED A PRUDE!!

If you are that interested in looking at a sad incomplete chart then here you go: CLICK

Now, the reason that I doubt that I O'ed so early on CD 12 despite the CM and temps is because I often get a dip in temps before I actually O anyway, according to previous charts. But my over obsessive mind wonders: Maybe I actually do O really early each time and we miss the window because I figure that we should save up the sperm around CD11-13 and then start having sex.

Other than that small curious obsession, I have to say the little unscheduled break has been good for my brain. It will not be good when my period shows up and sends me into another meltdown because we wasted a cycle and that is yet another cycle to add on to the number of cycles that we have been TTC. But for now I am enjoying not temping at 6am and analyzing my temps and my phantom symptoms.