Let's Talk About Sex: The Anal Edition

I am a virgin.

An anal sex virgin. I will die an anal sex virgin.

I always thought I was in the majority with this one. Apparently I am not. My girlfriends and I got to talking about this once and I realized I am almost alone in my ass virginness. Me and my friend L are the only two out of the 7 of us who were talking about it.

I don't judge if that's what you want to do but from the way it has been described to me, I have no desire to have to put so much lube that I may need a beach towel, have a dick shoved up my ass while I bite down on a leather strap or something only to have to feel like I need to take a massive dump during and immediately afterward.

Yeah, no thanks.

I told D if he ever seriously wanted to do it that I would entertain the idea on the one condition that I get to shove a dildo up his ass too so he would know what it felt like. Oddly enough, he has never asked.

I love getting mail

Surprise mail? even better!

When it contains a heartfelt letter? SUPERB!

Yesterday I got a gift in the mail from my dear internet friend, Krista. You never expect to meet people online who will forever touch your life in such a special and amazing way, but I did and Krista is one of those amazing people.

A while back she hosted a giveaway on her blog for a necklace that is made by her cousin. She makes these necklaces for people with IF and/or who are dealing with a loss. Unfortunately, Krista and I fall into both of those categories. I didn't win the necklace but thought it was such a beautiful idea and such a great giveaway. The necklaces are made from Oyster Shells and Baby Foot shells(thin delicate shells with a baby's foot imprint in the center) Krista's cousin puts them together for those in need to wear for hope and promise and remembrance.

And yesterday I got my very own Baby Foot necklace and I love love love it. It is a unique and beautiful gift and I got very teary eyed when I read the heartfelt letter and was so touched to receive the necklace. I put it on immediately and all through the day today I would put my hand over top of it and feel the inspiration that came with it.

To Krista, this was a simple gesture to an internet friend but to me, it means the whole world and more.

I took these with my webcam so they are crappy quality. 

You can kind of see the imprint of the baby's foot in the smaller shell.

What a steal of a deal!

I read an awesome blog called 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility. The blog is so true and real and helps you to laugh and cry and feel bitter all the while knowing you are not alone. I love it.
Some of my favorite posts include: Do You Come to this Reproductive Endocrinologist Often?, You Have A  Lot of People Looking At Your Vagina , Good Luck Phoning Your Mommy Friend

Just to name a small few.

Recently something happened to me that reminded me of something that could go on that awesome blog and I wanted to share.

We forked out a lot of money for IVF. Any other person who is going through this or has been through it knows what I am talking about. On top of the cost of the procedures there is the cost of meds which is astro-freaking-nomical then I also had the joy of paying for my accommodations for 3 weeks while I was in the city where the RE's office is getting monitored and my treatment, the extra costs of being away from home, and on top of it all we chose December so we had to do some Christmas shopping (Thanks for understanding our financial situation, ILs, I appreciate you forcing us to buy you all a Christmas gift even though we were paying out the ass for fertility treatments-BAH HUM BUG)

So our total was pretty large. Another part of this whole mess that stings, all of the money that we should have just flushed down the toilet instead.

So when my follow up appointment came with Dr. L and we discussed the FET I was expecting to hear another high number. Knowing that I need to heal emotionally and financially before even thinking about doing the FET. Then he said the number. $1200 total for everything, since I will be doing a natural FET cycle, I won't have to worry about the cost of meds.

And what did D and I both respond to this? Wow! That's not bad at all!!!

Some people worry about the cost of a BBT to get pregnant and maybe a few months of VIP fertilityfriend.com. Some don't even have to go that far and just have the cost of a cheap, old condom that breaks.

But not us. $1200 for another chance at becoming parents? What a steal of a deal!!!

Doing things for ME

I am a pretty important person in my life. I often ignore me. Not anymore.

I am taking guitar lessons for me

I bought myself some new wheels

And I am about 80% sure that I am going to run a half marathon this year. In May. It's something that I have always wanted to do but put off intense training for TTC.

Yep, it's my time now.

Let's Talk About Sex

When I get together with my girl friends the conversation often turns to sex. I really do believe that women talk about it way more than men do. I might make this a regular blog segment, who knows.

And since my sex life has been ruined lately thanks to T-TTC, why not find some humor in what many people take so very seriously.

Today's topic: Shower sex.

I do not like shower sex. It is not comfortable, I go in the shower to clean and shave and be warm under the water. Throw in a second person and you have to share the stream of water, the ceramic walls in my shower are too cold to lean against and I am not strong enough to bend and contort in whichever way needed to have sex standing up on a wet slippery floor. It's just not appealing to me.

But D tries. Oh does he try. Here is a conversation we had that always gets a good laugh out of my friends when I tell them.

I am the Italic font and D will be the Bold font.


Let's have a shower together

No thanks

How come you never want to have a shower with me?

Because I don't like shower sex

We don't have to have sex, we can just have a shower together

Yeah right! As if you would ever just have a shower and have it not be sexual

I won't! We will just shower together.


No, cause then I have to share the water and I get cold while I wait for you to use it

You can have all of the water, I don't care. 


Well that's just creepy! I will be showering while you stand there...dry...staring at me...with a boner!

An Award??

 

A wonderful woman, Jenni, over at Tomorrow's on the Way gave me an award. It is my first blog award and I am shocked. My blog lately has been a non-stop spewing of whining and crying and I am honored that Jenni chose my blog for this award. Thank you Jenni, you are quite supportive and helpful and always have something nice and comforting to say. I appreciate this very much.

There are a few rules to this award:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers.

4. Contact the bloggers and tell them about the award!

 

So here are 7 things about me (I will try to make them things about me that you probably don't know)

 

1- I have a 36D size bra

 

2- I am the youngest of 3 girls but have never felt like the spoiled baby of the family but rather the forgotten last child. So I have always been loud and chatty to try and demand attention.

 

3- Nothing makes me more angry than a liar. Even if it is a small stupid lie.

 

4- I wore braces for 2.5 years. My teeth were so bad and crooked that they had to pull 2 just so the rest would fit in my mouth straight. One tooth was so crooked it was almost backwards.

 

5- I was electrocuted as a child (about 2-3 years old). The family dog chewed the plug off a fan and I got a hold of the chewed off plug and plugged it into the wall. The lights went out and I started to scream. When my mom came  in she saw that I had a black mark on the tip of my finger and also on the tip of my big toe. (where the shock when in and out). She did not take me to a doctor or hospital.

 

6- My body is covered in birthmarks. They range in size and area of body. They are watched carefully for changes and many of them have been removed and tested for cancer and abnormalities. One of them is on the right side of my head and it causes my hair on that side only to be curly and frizzy and thicker than the other side.

 

7- If money was no object I would get a nose job.

 

 

And now to award other bloggers. I don't have 15 people to award this to so I will just pass it along to a few of my favorites. I am not exactly sure what the Stylish Blogger Award represents but I will pass along to people who have great blogs, amazing stories, good hearts and who have touched my life in some way.

 

1- The amazing, strong, loving and sweet Megan at After Jillian (a private blog) who introduced me to pretzel M&Ms, for that I am forever grateful.

 

2- The beautiful, positive, strong and caring Ashley at Life as Ashlet

 

3- And what can I say about Sulfababy? She is a survivor, incredibly strong, funny and witty, so helpful and positive, and her blog is not only hilarious, serious, emotional but it is also educational and entertaining. She writes Close my Eyes and Leap

 

4- I believe she already has this award but I have to include the amazing Krista at Rubber Baby Buckin Bumpers Not only is Krista an amazing and strong woman like the rest of my nominees but she is tough and sweet, she knows exactly what to say because she has been there. An most of all she is my proof that there you can never lose hope. She is my proof that we infertiles deserve good things too.

 

 

 

I also wanted to award one to Amber from Born in a Barn but she recently received one so this is her honorable mention ;)

A new vehicle

D and I have been surviving with 1 vehicle for quite a few years now. I was working part time and we couldn't afford a 2nd vehicle and we made it work with just 1.

Tomorrow that officially ends. After work I am picking up my brand new 2011 Ford Escape!

Normal me would be so excited and squeeing all over the place. I am excited but my current state of emotion is keeping all of that in check. But yay for a new car...truck....SUV