Hey, J-j-jaded

Sometimes I worry that I am using words in the wrong context, I know what I want to say but I am not sure I am using the correct words. I was thinking that I feel Jaded but I wasn't sure if I used the term correctly so I looked it up (NERD ALERT!) and this is what I found:

Main Entry: jaded



Function: adjective


1 : fatigued by overwork : exhausted


2 : made dull, apathetic, or cynical by experience or by surfeit

AF showed up yesterday. Previously when the bitch showed her ugly face, I cried. I felt sorry for myself and I cried. Yesterday I was more upset about the fact that she came on CD 25 (giving me a 24 day cycle) and that she ruined a good, sexy-ish, comfy pair of panties.

I am Jaded.

I am fatigued and exhausted from our T-TTC and the emotions that come with it.
I am cynical. I have always been cynical but this journey has made me even more so.

It's numbness that I feel now. This is cycle 19 or 20 or something, I have literally lost count because I feel like I stopped caring or maybe I cared too much and just ran out of steam. That is how I feel, emotionless.

I know this is a temporary feeling and that sooner than later I will be crying and feeling sorry for myself again but today I am jaded.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=705LEH3j2g0&feature=related