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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

So close yet so far

15 days.

In 15 days I will see the RE. In 15 days we will have a plan.

So why do I feel like I want to cancel the appointment and give up? Just continue on with my life the way it is.

I have become a wilted flower. I used to be a bubbly, bright person with tons of personality and a wide smile.

I am now emotionally battered and bruised. I feel like when I am happy and bubbly that I am wearing a mask because on the inside I am crying, I am always crying.

My emotions are a roller coaster, one with dips and dives and that makes your stomach feel like it is about to come out of your throat.

Today I want to throw my hands in the air, drop my limp body onto the floor and give up.

Tomorrow might be different but this is me today.

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