My friend with selective hearing

D & I have these friends. Let's call them Randy and Jennifer. They are very close friends. We spend a lot of time with them.

Randy has some serious hearing problems (and by serious I mean he never hears what you are saying and is the butt of a lot of our jokes because of it) Has he ever had a hearing test? I doubt it. Should he? ABSOLUTELY!

The funny thing is that you can be sitting beside him and he will not hear what you say but he can hear a phone ring from a mile away before anyone else does. It's mind boggling, really.

Here are 2 examples that come to mind that crack me up incredibly. One is from this weekend so I will start with that one (plus it is the less funny of the two examples)

So we are all sitting around watching the UFC fights this weekend. Someone tells us a story about an old friend of ours whose sister got so drunk the night before that she spent 3 hours in the bathroom at the bar and was found by a friend of her with her head in the sink.

So of course Randy says "What are you talking about?" and D says "Jane Doe was sick in the sink or something"

And Randy repeated "Jane Doe is in Cirque du Soleil????"

O.M.G. I laughed so hard. Those 2 sentences sound nothing like each other and plus Jane was never the athletic type so thinking that she was in Cirque was hilarious!

The next example makes me laugh instantly, even after all of these years.

A few years ago, D & I, Randy and Jennifer and other friends, let's call them Billy & Britney, went on a road trip to Buffalo for Billy's birthday and an NHL game. For the night we got a Suite at a hotel which had 1 King size bed and a small sofa bed. (not quite suitable for 6 people but we planned on partying lots and sleeping minimally)

So after a night of partying we got settled into our sleeping arrangements. Jennifer, Britney & myself in the King size bed with the bedroom door closed and D, Randy & Billy to fend for themselves in the living room area.

So D grabbed the 2 tiny cushions from the couch and made himself a little bed on the floor. Billy and Randy decided to share the tiny sofa bed which was somewhere between a twin and double bed. (very small for 2 big guys)

While laying in bed Billy let out the loudest fart ever. D heard it from across the room and started laughing, Randy though. Randy said "What did you say?" to which Billy replied "I fuckin' farted, man!"

Well of course the laughter errupted!! And I am giggling as I type this. How the hell someone who is laying right beside you (their arms and legs were probably even touching because this bed was so small) cannot hear a very distinct and loud fart is unbelievable.

::gigglesnort:: My friends are amusing.