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Sunday, May 15, 2011

It is days now

The mock cycle for the FET will officially get rolling when AF shows up. She could be here any day but should technically be here Wednesday or Thursday. I know she is coming, I can feel he creeping up. And with every symptom I get a little more freaked out.

I am anxious and considering the million different scenarios that could pan out with all of this. My body is healed from IVF and the m/c, it is ready to go forward with this. I don't know that my emotions will ever be healed but I feel ready to try again. But with all of that comes the nerves. I am terrified as well.

I don't know if I can handle another heartbreak but I am also not ready to throw in the towel yet. And now that we discovered a second blocked tube, our chances of conceiving on our own are Nil. So that is adding a bunch of stress, it can no longer be a shot in the dark back up plan.

So here I sit and stew and worry. This is going to be another long 2 months followed by another hellish 2ww. Can I click my heels together and make it all go faster?

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