Funny shit happens to me at work every day. Funny, frustrating, and down right strange things happen all the time at a hospital. When you sit at a registration desk, a lot of that stuff happens to you.
So I introduce to you: Today at the desk
Today (actually it was yesterday but I just came up with the idea today so we will pretend) at the desk, a mom and her 16 year old daughter came to register. We will call the daughter B.
B (to mother): I wish I could get a job here.
Mother: You need an education to get a job
B (now to me): Do you need an education to work here (all condescending like)?
Me: Yes. And you need to be able to speak french, do you speak french?
B: No.
Me: Have you had a cough or shortness of breath in the past 7 days?
B: Well like I think I am getting sick
Me: Are you coughing?
B: Yes
Me: If you are coughing in the hospital you need to be wearing a mask
B (to mother): Fuck, I should have lied. (back to me) It's a smoker's cough.
Me: ***eyeroll***
At this point another 16 year old walks by with her baby ( I had registered them earlier). We will call this other teen M.
B: Hey M! Is this your baby? It's cute!
M: She's a girl
B: Is it sleeping? Does it cry a lot?
M: She's pretty good
B (ripping soother out of baby's mouth): Will it cry if I do this?
M begins to walk away.
B: Aww, it was cute. I want one!
And cue the part of the day where I force myself to remain seated and not jump over the counter to slap a patient.
THE END
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