2nd post of the day

I woke up feeling decent today, which is a vast improvement. I made a nice blog post about how I was happy about the trade that my fave NHL team did, how I had a nice chat with my BFF.

Then I went to work and my day went from decent to shitty.

First, well let's face it I don't really like my job or the people that I work with and the one person that I do like is off on her maternity leave for a year.

So the coworker that I like shows up today to visit with her brand new baby. This was hard. I had a quick look at him (BTW she gave him the name that D and I have for our phantom baby boy, Cooper) then I got back to work. There were a lot of people fussing over him so it was pretty safe to say that I didn't offend her by my lack of oooing and aaahing. Then she came into our department and my coworker picked him up and held him then she shoved him at me and said 'Here, see how this feels on you!' I held him for a total of about 30 seconds and then gave him back.

Then a few more people came to see him and fuss over him and this is all I kept hearing "Okay, Dee... when is it your turn?!?!?" I mist have heard it about 4-5 times and it felt like a million. It was like taking a bullet everytime and all I wanted to do was say "It will be my turn when my body decides to keep one!" But of course nobody knows what I am dealing with and that would just be rude.
I wish that some people had a better social filter though and didn't ask such bold questions, they have no idea what I am going through.

After she left I called D and cried. It was hard. He informed me that his sister was dropping off our niece to be babysat by us while she went for a massage and that the baby would be here when I got home. Being the amazing man that he is, he offered to go to his sister's house and watch our niece there if I was too uncomfortable. I said no, it is not our niece's fault and I can't ignore her.

Then I foolishly checked the mail on my way in the door. Package #2 of maternity items arrived. One more to go.

I am so done with today!!! SO SO SO DONE