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Friday, July 2, 2010

It's a strange feeling

According to my chart I may have O'ed on CD 12. I am not positive about this but my temp and CM were consistent with this. It just seems really early but you never know.

If that is the case then there is still hope for me but seeing as today is CD 15 it is very likely that I have not ovulated yet and that I will ovulate soon.

So what is the problem? The problem is that I had sex on CD11 (this is great for a CD12 O date) but I have not had sex since and I will not be having sex all weekend.

What the hell are you thinking Dee? This is your fertile window, you should be humping like bunnies! Well, D and I got in that huge fight. Then we did not see much fo each other for a 2 days and I was still mad at him. We finally had a talk last night and while I told him that I would move on from it, that he still hurt me and it would take me a while to get over that.

Ok, so you made up...get busy woman! The problem there is that we went out to watch fireworks with friends last night for Canada Day and didn't get home until late and since I had to get up for work this morning I chose sleep over sex.

What about the weekend? D is leaving this morning and I will join him later at the cottage. We are hosting a bunch of friends there which means no privacy and shared bedrooms in a small cottage. There is the possibility of leaving to go park somewhere for sex but I highly doubt seeing that happen. And to be completely honest with you, D knows that we are missing this fertile time and he is making no effort to rearrange his plans for this.

So, it is a weird feeling. We have been TTC for so long that it is weird to think that there will probably be absolutely  no chance for pregnancy this time around. Not that there ever seems to be much chance for that anyway, it's just strange. I might even stop taking my temp but I would like to know if I did O or not, though the drinking at the cottage this weekend will not help my temp anyway.

My plan was for a quickie after work before we headed to the cottage but he is so hell bent on leaving early because he is antsy and can't wait (RIDICULOUS) that I know if I ask him to wait and he shows any sign of resistance that I am going to break down and get upset at him because I am the one who makes all of the sacrifices and efforts in our TTC journey.

::big sigh:: I am a fucking emotional mess.

1 comment:

  1. Waiting and having sex are two different animals. I vote you don't say, let's wait...you say "hey I want to screw your brains out before we are surrounded by people for the weekend so be naked when I walk in the door if you know whats good for you" End of story. He's a man, its sex, he'll be there. That and he really doesn't want a pissed off Buckin in Canada. My tirades give American's a bad name and that just wouldn't be pleasant for either country...LOL

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