Hair

Yesterday morning at the gym I spent a significant amount of time observing an older man on the treadmill. He had a bad comb-over and I thought to myself, why? Do they think they are fooling anyone? They are so afraid of being bald that they grow their remaining hair so long so they can cover up the balding.

Why?

Then I spent another significant amount of time trying to understand it. In order to do this I tried to think of something that women do and I realized women do much much crazier things than comb a little extra hair over something to cover it up.

• Pour hot wax on unwanted hair and then promptly rip it out along with a few layers of skin
• spend thousands of dollars on creams and products that will take away our wrinkles
• pull out tiny hairs in sensitive areas, one by one, in swift painful motions
• spend thousands of dollars on makeup to change the color of our eyelids, cheeks and lips and cover our faces in a liquid (or powder) that is the same colour of the skin underneath it
• allow for chemicals to seems into our bodies through our scalp in order to achieve the perfect shade of hair
• spend thousands of dollars on metals, plastics and jewels to hang from different parts of our bodies
• stuff our bras with enhancers, wrap our tummies to make them seem flatter
• colour our finger and toe nails in a rainbow of colours

We go through pain and pay checks for the above list and countless others.

So to you, old man at the gym, I say: Your comb-over looks ridiculous, you are not fooling anyone but if that's the only insecurity you have to cover up then good for you!