I am very proud and very happy to say that my bitterness and anger has been at bay for some time now. I don't want to cry when I see anyone with a baby. I no longer feel hatred and anger towards those people who got pregnant so easily. Every pregnant belly doesn't make me want to cry and lock myself in a dark basement.
The feelings are always lingering in the back of my mind but I have been very good lately and proud to say that the impossible gets more possible every day.
And then it hits. Out of the blue when you are least expecting it. It hits. The knot in your stomach, the lump in your throat when you see a baby, when you see a pregnant lady, when you read yet another pregnancy announcement on facebook, when someone mentions casually that 'so-and-so is pregnant, again!'
Sigh. I don't like feeling this way but I like the small victories. I have been doing really good lately and I am proud and happy for that.
My journey is different that anyone else's and I have to live with what I am dealing with. Others may be luckier than I am in that respect but I have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to smile about.
And then it hits...
One step at a time and one day at a time. All of that is progress. Big Hugs.
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